The Good Girl Revolution


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All that I can say, is thank

All that I can say, is thank you so much for your work. People- men and women, but especially women- need to hear this stuff. Thank you.

Thank you so much

I'm trying not to cry.

I've wanted to be good since I was a teenager and I've always felt freakish, humiliated, and ashamed of it, and like no one would like me. At 13 even my mom encouraged me to be sexy, stay out late, party, and drink and stuff, it was like she didn't care about me at all.

I started having sex really young because I thought I was supposed to, thought that "sexy" was the best thing to be, even before I understood sex enough to understand what "sexy" was or what it implied, and I continued having sex in a bunch of situations that just made me feel like garbage, literally. Most of the "casual" sex I've had in my life hasn't been casual for me- I can only think of one instance where I was genuinely looking for sex in a masculine way. Usually it has just been painful.

I hate, HATE the pressure to be "bad" and to be "cool", even from parents. I wish that I had found your book when I was a teenager. I'm just glad that I've found it now. It's such a relief to feel like I'm not bad, not alone, not a freak, and to have this affirmation of my experience and my feelings. Thank you for writing this book, thank you so so much.


WENDY! You are a marvel! Thank you for your books. I adored A RETURN TO MODESTY when I read it a few years ago, and couldn't believe I missed you had another book. I am ravenously reading GOOD GIRL REVOLUTION and it is inspiring me tremendously! I am SICK of the over sexed culture that is around and damaging our youth. Thank you for being BRAVE and pointing out what many others see but are afraid, for whatever reason, to point out the breakdowns. I plan on doing MUCH MORE to contribute to this wonderful revolution!Much Respect,Tara Battani

I think a film, with a kick

I think a film, with a kick ass storyline, amazing dialogue and brilliant acting would be the next project for you. Everybody likes watching movies, and with one that portrays these morals hitting cinemas I think alot of people can be reached. Hit the Film Industry!

Girls Gone Mild

Bravo!! I am currently reading your book "girls gone mild" (boy its hard to type that right1). The message of chastity needs to be heard by todays young ladies. I was a Youth Pastor for several years and saw the damage pop culture was doing to the young ladies. I always encouraged them to place value on themselves by NOT having sex before marriage. Premarital sex (formerly called fornication) is wrong not because of pregnancy or STIs but because it is wrong before God. It was hard to get the young people to see that point. They always pointed out the physical part of sex before marriage as the "bad" stuff.
Keep this message in the forfront. May God give you more venues to publish.


Thank you so much for taking the public hit for us women. I am 34 and have been told by my girlfriends I am a freak because I won't date guys who go to hooters and strip clubs. Your books are inspiring me to keep up the good fight...

Oh, thank God!

It seems, as the years go by, that I (and select of my friends) am one of the last hold-outs against the "Sex by 15 is normal" bent of society. I'm a 25 year old perpetually-single woman who doesn't see what's so awesome about having random sex with men who don't care about me. I'm a jaded person, knowing that more than half of relationships now-a-days fall apart (and seeing it happen in living color). But I don't want a life full of "batting practice". I believe that one-step-to-the-plate-and-WHAMMO!!-outta-the-park-homerun relationships can happen.
I went to Planned Parenthood a few months ago to see about getting on some birth control (to have some control over certain hormonal activities in my life, lol) and my mother was skeptical, saying that they might not give it to me since I wasn't sexually active and wasn't planning on being so any time soon. But both nurses I talked to while I was there, not only were SURPRISED to learn that I'd never had sex, but were IMPRESSED and SUPPORTIVE. While it might be hard to see, there are people out there who like seeing women actually take control of their lives, instead of letting Hollywood and society tell them what to do.
And yeah, the idea of holding hands with a guy makes me grin like a little kid.
Mariah. article about infidelity

Your article was a joy to read. I"m going through a divorce, because of, among other things, infidelity and it is so nice to read something that doesn't leave me shaking my head thinking "there is little chance to find a loyal man/husband." Loved the mention of the cottage industry of articles justifying male infidelity. Thanks.

Looking forward

I'm looking forward to getting your book, I just ordered it since my friend recommended it to me!

Redding, California

modesty and feminism

I am soooo happy to see articulate, intelligent and assertive young women defend their position on modesty. I am 40 years old and in my teens I was a rebel, so much so that I was one of only 2 girls in a 1,600 student body to get pregnant at 15! I've had ample time to regret my rebellion and mend my ways, and I've always been honest with my daughter about why I don't want her to rush her sexuality. As I've raised my 17-year-old daughter in a culture way more sexualized than the one I grew up I've always worried she would come to rebel against my modest code of dressing -to extremes; that has not happened, though we've had disagreements. I am proud to report she is very modest in her clothing and yet contemporary and feminine. And it's very encouraging to see that she is -albeit unknowingly- part of the good girl revolution. Thank, Wendy, for letting us know we are not alone!

Thanks so much!!!

I just recently ordered your book "A Return to Modesty" from the library and I just wanted to thank you SO MUCH for your stand on this subject! My parents have always wanted me to dress modestly, but in the last few months I have started looking into it myself. Your book by far, has given me the most information and reason to dress modestly, although I've read a few books and articles on the subject. Another good point, is that you're not a Christian, (although being Jewish, I guess your standards are almost the same), so it is not as if you are just being obedient to God by being modest (1 Timothy 2:9), but there is a logical reason for it in the eyes of the world. Hopefully all that makes sense...
I'm looking forward to reading your other books!


I want to thank you so much for writing this book and exposing that there are girls out there tired of this false "empowerment." I am a college sophomore and I have been in a relationship with the most respectful, caring man for almost two years now. Before I met him however, I would hook up and not even expect anything in return. It was ridiculous I even thought that was normal. I am so glad that I finally realized how women are portrayed in the media to automatically sell sex and to whore themselves out. I have felt very, very strongly about things such as Hooters, Miley Cyrus, and The Sun's Page Three. It is ridiculous that society normalizes such sexual exploitation especially when it seems to be affecting younger and younger women who are more impressionable. I was afraid that I was the only one who felt so strongly about things that are commonly accepted as part of society. Things have to change, and I hope there are more girls out there who won't write off excuses and stand up for their self-respect.

just read Girls Gone Mind

I heard you speak a couple years ago in L.A., but I only got around to reading Girls Gone Mild now. was hard to read the book, I was so uncomfortable and in such disbelief at how low our society has stooped. But then, when you tell the stories of so many wonderful, intelligent, creative, GOOD girls--girls who are trying to make the world a better place--I felt so much better. I hope your work and the other ladies who visit this website spreads the word: the world is better, healthier, and happier--and even more fun--when you strive to be good!

It's about time!!!

I am so glad I found your site. I just ordered your book. It was featured on another blog and the writer seems to share your views. The blog was

My favorite post is

This is what I have been trying to convey to my girlfriends for years! I am so glad to see so much is being said about it. Way to go Wendy!!!

Good Girl Revolution - Read the Book

Dear Wendy,
Thank you for writing on modesty. I have the privilege of working with a youth program for girls that stresses modesty as one aspect of being a Godly woman. Your book has helped me to understand why it is often such a challenge. There are so many faces of women (young and old) that show pain or worse a blank stare. Our dear Eternal Father has given us such a gift to be women. Your insights are especially valuable with the work I do with the High School and university age women. Thank you for sharing your insights. I keep you and your family in prayer.

i'm 17 and i was wondering,

i'm 17 and i was wondering, why should i be modest and virtueous? isnt the opposite that allows us to have fun and be accepted?if not why do we think it is? is it all pschlogical and peer pressure stuff?

Brava, bravissima! Carry on!

Thank you for all your good work, especially the amazing powerhouse of a book A Return to Modesty. I am a Girl Scout leader and service unit codirector, as well as mom to an 8-year-old daughter, and I've given innumerable copies of that book to fellow leaders and moms of my Scouts, to share what we're up against in raising girls with self-respect. The mission of the Girl Scout Movement is to raise girls of "courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place". Whether or not you were a Scout, you fit that definition. Thank you! Carry on!

Thank you once again

The most important element of your work Wendy is that it inspires HOPE.

Is it possible that the young generation has hope with a least a vital remnant.

As I have said previously, you may be peforming a vital role in preserving Jewish identiy and the Jewish family as well as encouaging Gentiles to thing of the wisdom of the ethical inheritance of Judeo-Christianity private morality.


I recently converted to Islam and decided to wear the hijab (veil), despite the fact that such attire is not specifically required by the Qur'an or *western* Muslim culture. Some people I know are confused by my decision; they think I am "oppressed" or they worry about my being vulnerable to hate crime. The irony is that the hijab represents liberation to me.

I have an autism spectrum disorder that leaves me naive and vulnerable in complex social situations. This has led to my being sexually harassed on several occasions. About a month ago, a fourteen-year-old girl with the same disorder I have was raped on a school bus. Unfettered male sexuality is DANGEROUS to women, especially young women like me who have special needs. My hijab is a screen I put up between certain types of men and myself. It is a creep repellent. That's feminism.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that women are not the instigators of sexual misconduct (the scary immoral infidel woman is an invention of later Islam and is heresy); men are, and women are "precious diamonds" who have to be protected from them.

I feel safer with Muslims. I do not support the Taliban or anything, but something IS dreadfully wrong with American culture. Books like this that propose solutions to the problem are wonderful. The Sexual Revolution 2.0 is going to be awesome.

I would also like to thank Wendy for her INCLUSIVE message of modesty, which draws people of all religions (or no religion) into a coalition with a common goal of cultural repair. I have been thrown out of Facebook groups and online forums dedicated to abstinence and modesty for not being a Christian. Wendy and her website, in contrast, want to spread a simple message through all possible channels and actually change things, not create an exclusive club.

For the modestly married

Dear Wendy,

A fertility monitor called the LadyComp might be of interest to any modestly married readers of this site, as well as to young women who would like to marry someday. This device seems to be well-accepted in Europe as an alternative to artificial and hormonal birth control. It can complement natural family planning techniques (charting, etc.) or even be used in place of them (it's apparently that accurate). Some think the LadyComp is less available in the US because of the money being made off the Pill. Anyhow, it seems like it is worth investigating. It is comforting to know that the integrity of the body doesn't have to be compromised for the sake of birth control. (Also, it is interesting how natural family planning is also linked, in a way, to the Jewish Orthodox purity laws, in that it works in with, rather than against, the natural cycles of a woman's body.)

The Good Girl Revolution

As the mom of three good girl rebels, ages 21, 18, and 16, I can't thank you enough for your latest book. My then-15 year old found it while we were on vacation last summer, and we both devoured it. My oldest is reading it now.

It is a tremendous source of validation and support for their chosen lifestyle--one that includes modesty, dignity, and the right to choose not to participate in sex before marriage. But of course, they are swimming up stream, and they've even had adult women sneer at them, "oh, you're a Good Girl, aren't you?"

One sick trend we've noticed is that some more conservative girls use religion as an excuse to put up with the bad behavior of boyfriends, friends and peers. One young lady, now 17, told my daughter she was sticking with her boyfriend, whose public behavior is abusive and atrocious, because she was attempting to model Christ for him in the hopes that he would change. It sounds good on the surface, until you begin to examine the results---the boyfriend realizes she will put up with no end of bad behavior and she is choosing to be the recipient of abuse. It's very sad.

Thank you for keeping the plight of the good girl in the public eye. It is wonderful!

Well done, Wendy

Return to Modesty rocked my thinking. Girls Gone Mild confirmed my beliefs. I'm a man, but I appreciate how your teachings make the world more beautiful for my aging eyes and more clear for my writing about "What Women Never Hear."

Abstinence only vs. abstinence plus education?

Hi Mrs. Shalit,
I was inspired to read your book "girls gone MILD" after seeing your websites. I had decided to write a paper this past semester on the subject of this post (for an interpersonal relationships class). Mostly all I found were research reviews showing the failure rates of abstinent only programs versus the overall effectiveness of the comprehensive type. Therefore, most of what I could write about were things that went against what I believed to be true because there was hardly any evidence to support my stance.
Do you have any ideas on why these abstinence programs are consistenly shown to 'not work'?
Here are a few of my ideas on the subject.
-Teenagers feel more empowered when they are given several options to choose from, and thus more may choose to abstain when it is presented as a choice rather than an obligation.
-The abstinence only message can only work in a supportive environment and when taken out of the context of family upbringing/societal pressures may be seen as just a 'preaching sex education course'
-It is much harder to provide a strong abstinence message versus just telling people "use condoms cuz it can prevent a lot of the 'most dangerous' problems." No higher philosophy involved there. Alas, long-term wisdom is much harder to acquire.
Insights welcome!

Modest role models

I always wondered why all my personal heroines were from past eras! (Jane Austen, St. Teresa, Emily Dickinson, Rachel Carson, etc.) Now it seems like maybe ancient :) standards of personal modesty have something to do with it! They are at least a part of the puzzle.
Who do we have today who are modest role models? There are the young girls whose voices are heard in The Good Girl Revolution, but who else is there? Do we have any older women to look up to? There is a great quote, "A modest [woman] is usually admired, if anyone ever hears of [her]" (Edgar Watson Howe). Well, let's hear about her.

Does anybody have any famous modest women role models? I'm especially interested in women who are feminine (i.e. not essentially following male standards of dress & action).
Okay, thanks!

Some ideas

Role models with modesty, dignity, & class:

*Mother Teresa (nun)
*Hilary Hahn (violinist)
*Marian Anderson (singer)
*Anna T (okay, she's not famous, but she's modest and she has a blog:

It's hard to think of role models who dress in a feminine way!

Thank-you so much!!

Thank-you Wendy Shalit!! Now finally people can realize that being a good-girl (or good-boy) is not an insane idea! I still think it is completely creepy and weird that some people and organizations find that modesty and saving yourself is a bad thing that should be put down. Why is bad to have self-respect?? It isn't, but I'm so happy that you wrote this book, a lot of girls that I know are totally confused about whether to have sex or to wait for that special person. I hope this helps them realize that waiting is so much better. Thank-you Wendy so very much!!

Thank you for your voice

In a world where "sex sells," we need more people to stand up, and that is already happening. Wendy, you're great! You wrote 2 books on this very needed topic. I am in college and seriously, you are in shock by what the young women are wearing, even my husband is upset! He wishes more women would dress like I do. I am so disgusted. Women are taught that basically, your dignity lies in your body. No, it's not! Your dignity is the kind of life you live. Modesty seems to be a lost virtue, but now I know it isn't, it is just we are still in the minority.
I believe when a woman dresses modestly, men start to actually treat her like a lady, and not as a sex object. But by what women are wearing today, they are actually being treasted as sex objects! Oh, if the original feminists were still alive, they would be so upset. The original intention of the feminist movement was that people should treat women with dignity, with respect, not as sex objects.
But I am sooooo happy that there are some others out there, like myself, who are actually speaking out against promiscuity.

Mystery of the body

Hi Jessica,I agree with you that modesty is important, but I think it's precisely because a woman's dignity does reside in her body, as well as in the way she lives. I think that's why modesty is so important for women. There is something magical and precious about the female body, and when it is guarded from public view and reserved only for one who, as Shalit writes, has proven himself worthy, it retains this mystery and magic. When it is displayed to the whole world, then there's nothing really exciting about it anymore. It has been sold too cheaply.I think we agree-- I just wanted to clarify that point. I think women's bodies carry tremendous power, and that women have a particular way of being, a presence, that is powerful. Joseph Campbell comments on this-- he says that men's power comes from doing, but women's power comes from being. Also Shmuley Boteach writes about it. Anyway, it's food for thought! (No particular endorsements of these writers, by the way.)Thanks for posting the comment!

Dear Wendy, Thank you for

Dear Wendy,

Thank you for your strong voice! You have no idea how grateful I am that you wrote A Return to Modesty. It really helped me feel a lot better about myself and the way I am. I also felt inspired to speak out about my views and not hide them from others, just knowing that I'm not alone (as it sometimes seems!).

I seem to remember you mentioned you found an advertisement for alternative menstrual products to be "Orwellian." If you would like to explore this option further you may visit

But of course you don't have to! But I've found reusable pads to be extremely comfortable and practical.

I am particularly interested in finding women to be friends with who, like me, are modest, but not religious. They seem to be few and far between, but maybe now that I'm on the lookout for them, I'll find them!


Brown Women and Girls are Modest Too

Hello Wendy-
I'm very excited to find your website. I've managed to find lots of tools, books and resources for raising modest, and self assured sons... But very little to support my daughter in her journey to adulthood.
Your books and resources truly are a gift. However, there aren't many brown faces among the delightful cartoons that animate your website. I wouldn't want my daughter to get the impression that she needs to have fair skin in order to be modest.
Thank you so much for your good work! Keep it up!
Sincerely Yours-
Mrs. Paul R. Potts (Grace)
Ann Arbor, MI


I don't know what you mean because if you read this book you'll see that a lot of the female role models are African American but there are no cartoons in the book, just exercises at the end of chapters. Are there cartoons in a different book?

Online Petition to Preserve Modesty in the Sex Ed Classroom

I'm very grateful for this website - and the encouragement it is to my daughter! It's so important to know there are people out there who defend the same values that I've raised my own family on. Thank you!

I hope you'll allow this comment to remain as I'd like to promote an online petition for preserving our children's modesty in the Sex Ed classroom. I won't use this as a soapbox beyond requesting that you visit and get the details for yourself. Please support the petition with a comment of "I Agree" and feel free to leave your first name only.

Thanks very much in advance for your support!

Help on Sex Ed

Hello All,

I have the opportunity to teach "comprehensive" sexual education to at-risk 7th and 8th grade students. I'm forming the plans now and do not have access to programs that include morality or value-based information that can be presented in a secular fashion (similar to how "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" introduces religious "principles" to the business environment.) Does anyone know of ideas, websites, or books that will allow me to open Wendy's discussion of propriety and/or abstinence with already created lesson plans? Thanks so much.

Really love your book....

I just finished reading "Girls Gone Mild" and as a mother of 3 daughters, I really appreciated that you and the girls profiled in the book had the courage to stand up for modesty. A few years ago we lived in a small community in New Hampshire where it seemed that goal for young girls was to be a mother before they were 15. There were many programs at the high school to support them and it seemed to be the only option for teenage girls in the community. College wasn't encouraged and "slutty" clothes were the norm. My oldest daughter was 12 at the time and was made fun of for wearing modest clothing. This was one of the reasons we decieded to move out of the area, and we now live in a small rural town near Green Bay, WI where all my daughters have good friends with good parents that care about thier daughters futures. I just saw the Miley Cyrus article in Vanity Fair and was very shocked at the photos her parents have allowed to be taken and shown in the magazine. And the fact that she states that her favorite show is "Sex in the City" My daughters love Miley and I am very curious what they will have to say about this.
Thank you again for your courage in writing this book.
Thank you

Um...Irony much?

Hey Wendy!
After reading your book, I was thrilled to see an article quoting you and your book in an article in Cosmo Girl entitled "What is Sexy?". After reading the article, I flipped through the magazine and found 87 promiscuous images. After that edition, I have rarely seen a mention of abstience, not to mention the beauty of it. Consistency is the key in making girls believe they are not alone in modesty. Gee, I would really like to know how many Cosmo Girl writers and editors have successful marriages.

You are a wonderful person Wendy!

Dear Wendy,
I am a 14 year old girl and I really do love your book. I haven't read your first one yet but plan too. I agree wholeheartedly with everyone you say in your book. Why do girls think that modesty is bad? I mean, I think it is something to be proud of, and something to be cherished even. Thank-you so much for this book, you are a wonderful person and deserve all the good things that come to you.
Bless you,

Kudos to You

As a grandmother, I wanted to thank you for this wonderful idea and web site. Have contacted my daughters who were very enthused with this entire way of life. As a Catholic who raised 3 daughters in a more moderate time, I have become extremely concerned with the trend that has taken hold of our young girls. My granddaughters are extremely important to me (as well as the grandsons), but I was thrilled to see some up to date fashions that these girls can love and still feel like they are in the generation. As a teen of the 50's, I have been very appalled at the way the world has gone. Thank you so very much for adding a little bit of decency and modesty to these young people.
Am waiting for the response from my daughters but I am sure it will be positive. I know for a fact that my grandgirls will be so in favor of this also.
Keep up the message and God Bless You for this wonderful endeavor..

the Teen Creed

The Teen Creed......don't let your parents down,they brought you up...Be humble enough to obey,you may give orders someday...choose companions with care,You become what they are. Guard your thoughts ,what you are! Don't judge by race,creed or color, prevail over intolerance with knowledge...choose only a date who would make a good master of your habits, or they will master you! Don't be a show off when you drive,drive with safety and arrive...and finally..Don't let the crowd pressure you..stand for something..or you'll fall for anything!!!! I used to work this wonderful bit of advice into all my classes for some 30 years...if there is a way to send a copy,,in color on a parchment background to the host please inform me..thanks for listening..Nino

From a 15-year-old

I've recently been reading Girls Gone Mild. An excellent book. I feel sorry to say that on page 59, where it talks about the role of the abstinence movement in the decline of teenage pregnancy, that this statement actually isn't true. It's very dissapointing for me, as I believe in abstinence, to say that I've heard statistics show that when teaching an abstinence only sexual education class, teens are no less likely to have sex, yet are more likely to have unprotected sex than those who were taught in a contraseptive supporting school system. Although, I do believe that those parents and role models who are involved in the abstinence movement have most likely helped in the decline of pregnancy by starting their teachings at a young age and also by setting the expectation that you will respect your body (and God's wishes), it does not help to teach abstinence only in a public school system or academy. The answer lies in how we are raised, and what society expects of us. Even though I've only yet to reach 15, I've felt the pressures of premarital sex and I hope that, like me, the common person will learn that it never turns out for the better. It is much better to wait for the true love of your life, instead of worrying about being pregnant with a baby to a guy you hardly even know. Or, having a boyfriend who now excpects more out of you because you two had sex that one time. Even though you may not want to have sex again, you think that he'll leave you or go around telling people what a prudent you are. It's just too much of a hassel to have to deal with at a young age, or at all. You should just be able to live your life without having to deal with pressures and expectations. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. It means that you're doing something right. And if others can't see that, then they weren't good enough for you in the first place. Empower yourself. Say no. Unfortunatly, this may mean rejection, but isn't rejection better than degradation. Thank you.


Wendy, I just finished reading your first book, A RETURN TO MODESTY, and am greatly looking forward to reading GIRLS GONE MILD. I recognized my younger self in so many of the portraits of dissatisfied young women depicted in _Modesty_ that it was sometimes painful to read. It saddens me to think of how much of my true self I squelched when I was in my twenties because I didn't want to be known as "the prude" or "the crazy girl" or "the one who isn't a good sport."

When I was 18, I began to be intimate with my first serious boyfriend. I loved him, but the L-word never came up in our conversation-- at 18, we were told by grownups that we were "too young to settle down" or be in love-- and because of this I convinced myself that 'love' was a bourgeoise concept, one that was beneath me. At the same time I entered into a deep, chronic depression that would come to a head at several critical points in my life.

I married a man when I was 27 but divorced him several years later. Now I am remarried to the boy I loved when I was 18, who has grown into the most wonderful gentleman you could imagine. It was what I wanted all along-- to have ONE love that I could be with for the rest of my life. Looking back, I have to question the society that told me this secret wish was impractical, old-fashioned, or even ridiculous.

Thank you for writing so truthfully about the state of womanhood today.

"Over-Sexed" Epidemic

North American culture has become so "over sexed" that it has reached an epidemic. Girls need to be taught that they don't need to dress provocatively to get boys interested in them. That being attractive and sexy is not just a look but more of an attitude. By being assertive and knowing what they want out of themselves and life that they can achieve whatever they set out to, and exposing various parts of their body isn't the key to their happiness or success.

Kudos to all of the girls and women who have the courage to be different.

Thanking Wendy for "Girls Gone Mild"

What an excellent book you have written and I'm asking our local Library to also carry your 1st book. I can't thank you enough for courageously coming forward and promoting the good girl.
I have 2 teenagers, 14 and 18 and it was delightful to read portions of this treatise to them (esp re the 13 yr old Ella's letter to Nordstrom's, etc) It breaks my heart to learn there are parents out there actually giving their kids a hard time for still being virgins. What kind of parental love is that?
I got a big kick out of your approaching your former school, Williams College, and asking if, alongside the "Gay? Fine with me" free T-shirts, they could offer "Virgin? Fine with me" T-shirts. I'm not surprised that they turned you down.
My son is also taking Philosophy in university and I can see as your parents must by now, that you are using all that logic, research and debate to good advantage. Thanks for sharing your outlook on life and the Orthodox Jewish perspective, which I found to be fascinating.

My background is conservative Christian and our kids have mostly gone to a Christian private school. Even though the school has a fairly well enforced dress code, at special banquets the girls are dressing more immodestly and it has felt like a losing battle to keep my daughter to the standards we've encouraged her to have.
It's true that in my youth it was the miniskirts and short shorts that my parents had to battle with my sister and I. Books like yours show youth that there are a host of reasons for waiting for marriage and for women to celebrate their femininity, while saving their sexuality for their beloved.

Female teachers as predators

I've just started reading Girls Gone Mild. Thank goodness for people like Wendy who have to courage to speak out against the nosedive our culture has taken. I'm wondering what is the connection between the casual sex scene and all these young female teachers hooking up with 12- and 13-year-old boys. Is this the only way they can have control in a relationship with the opposite sex? It's sick.

from a fan

Hello, Ms. Shalit. I very much enjoyed your article on "Girls Gone Mild" which appeard in the WSJ two weeks ago (I'm a little behind in my reading!)
There is something wrong with people who would manufacture a "hot backless mini-dress" for a nine year old....not to mention parents who would allow such nonsense!
And I've lost all respect for Dr. Phil...he's as bad as that other nitwit, Jerry Springer, who just brings on people to fight with one another. A plague on both their houses!
Happy New Year!

Keep up the good work

Wendy, I'm a pastor in Western New York. Recently, I got involved in a great conversation on an online Superman fan-forum, about the casting of Wonder Woman in the upcoming Justice League movie. The discussion got on to the question of the impact of pornography and general immodesty in our popular culture.
It was a great help to have people like you, Lauren Winner, and Naomi Wolf to point to, people of divergent faiths and political backgrounds who are united by a desire to build a better world for our daughters.
I'm a conservative, evangelical Christian male pastor. It was fun to be called a "feminist" because I argued that our pornified culture is bad news for women and for men. Thanks for helping me make that argument.


I'm a 50 year old who loves your books and what you are doing. Just wanted to say your article in the Wall Street Journal was great-0I wish it was on the first page.

Thank You, this needed to be said - LOUD!!

Your article in the WSJ is a great article calling the bluff of media and many companies who hide behind 'sexual' messages to promote everything from clothing to TV shows. It is a shame that parents, teachers and society have capitulated to them. Shame on so called 'Doctor' Phil. I used to like his shows but he too, prefers sensational issues and people over helping the cause of real family values.
Congratulations to Ms. Shalit and the thousands of young people for the courage to stand up for what is right - at least for them, and for most.
I hope this movement catches on. Those who want to live 'MILD' and follow traditional family values need not hide. Hold your heads high and be proud.

WSJ article on Dr. Phil

I just read your article in the Wall Street Journal. Congratulations on the terrific work you do and the stand you take for modesty. The old adage "sex and controversy sell" is absolutely true with Dr. Phil. He couldn't have your work presented because it wasn't edgy or sexy enough. Consider it a badge of honor that your work wasn't highlighted. I have thought he was a phony for many years; this confirms my impressions. I have one daughter that we always encouraged to dress modestly and she continues to do that (she is 20 now). She was part of the "girlcott" of A&F. Her brothers have helped as well and often use the expression, "modest is hottest" to encourage their friends to dress appropriately. God bless you and your efforts!

Re: WSJ article on Dr. Phil


I also just read your article in today's WSJ, and have to applaud you for your drive and desire to get the word out in favor of modesty. Like the previous poster above, I also feel Dr. Phil is a phony of the highest regard; he would make Holden Caufield's blood boil! I do think the generational differences between the Boomers (who led the sexual revolution of the '70s), and the young women growing up now should be explored and discussed more deeply. I did see the other post coming from a Boomer, and of course, we cannot lump all people from one age group into one pot. But it is refreshing to know that my own daughter does not need to grow up flashing her private parts just to get Mardi Gras beads from total strangers. Not that anyone was ever under threat of their own life to do so, which makes their actions all the more unintelligible.

Please keep up the good work!


While I was dismayed by your treatment on Dr. Phil, I was thrilled to learn about you and your book. My daughter is 6 and has never had a Bratz doll, and she never will. I have a sixteen year old niece who very much could use a lesson in modesty. Now I know what book to send her!

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Notable and Quotable

“The girls [whom the Times reporter] interviewed cited wholesome-seeming celebrities as their favorites. . . Is it possible that today’s teens have seen enough to inoculate them against the pressures of their teenage years?”

--Stephanie Rosenbloom, "Grade-School Girls, Grown-up Gossip," New York Times, May 27, 2007